FOR OVER THREE YEARS NOW what Martina Foster would tell no one, not even Madeleine, was how her imagination had been taken up with Luke Madeary. She would have dyed her hair black a long time ago if not for Luke Madeary. His hair was not black, but it was very dark and it hung almost to his shoulders. It had flecks of gold in it, and it was because she knew details like this, like how his hair was not brown so much as a dark, glittering copper, that she kept him to herself. She kept how he sat down in the back of each class to her self, how his jeans never fit too much, but just right, and how he managed to be alone even among the loners. She kept how he talked to no one when he lit his Malrboros and sat smoking on the back porch of the school all to her self.
Tina kept his eyes to herself.
Once, long ago, when-- she had been blond, she had longed for nothing more than to be partnered up with Luke Madeary. It was the awkward year she was taking chemistry from her father, and somehow she’d let it slip that she was curious about Luke. Then she’d been partnered with Luke and through most of the experiment they’d worked calmly, in low, professional voices, not looking at each other. Then he’d lifted his eyes to her and said, “pass the sodium chloride, please,” and for that moment she thought she’d die.
She tried to replay what his eyes looked like to her. It had been almost two years. That was the first and last time they’d had eye contact. She’d played it well. She had been able to pass the sodium chloride.
Now, as she was leaving western civ and Luke had gone out three people ahead of her, Mr. Rafferty called, “Martina. May I have a word with you?”
Tina raised an eyebrow and came forward, books to her chest.
Rafferty waited until the last person, Laneisha Douglas, had left the room, and then he said, “Luke does live in the factory. He lives in the little bridge that goes over Michael street.”
“But why?”
“That’s a long story, and I don’t exactly know the answer,” Mick Rafferty said, “But... That’s the answer to your question.”
“Mr. Rafferty, why are you telling me this?”
“You asked.”
“I know I asked,” she said, “but you had no plans on telling me. Now you are. Why?”
Mick thought for a second, and then said, “He has no friends really. He has-- We don’t know how he eats or cares for himself.”
“We--”
“Stearne.”
Tina raised an eyebrow. “He would be at the bottom of this.”
“He’s not at the bottom of it,” Mick smiled. “But he knows about Luke, and he thought that Luke could benefit from--”
“Benefit from?”
“Benefit from,” Mick nodded, “were some people who could help him out who... weren’t gonna turn him into the law.”
“And you think I’m one of those people?”
Her teacher smiled.
“Tina, you are a law unto yourself.”
Tina shrugged and raised an eyebrow. “I gotta go to play rehearsal, but I’ll take that... statement in the spirit it was intended.”
“I knew you would.”


Ian was slower than ever getting out of school today, and when he finally had packed everything into his bag the halls were almost completely empty.
“Hey Kenzie!” he said, seeing the other boy go down the hall toward the auditorium.
“Ian!” Mackenzie immediately wondered if he’d sounded too happy.
“You’d think we’d be the first out of the building,” Ian joked.
“Yeah,” Mackenzie nodded. “Vaughan didn’t waste any time.”
“Where is he?”
“Home,” Mackenzie said, “Like I said, he didn’t waste any time. I gotta get to play practice, though.”
“Um?” Ian looked interested, which was cool because the moment Mackenzie had said something about play practice he’d been completely embarrassed.
“I’m in the musical this fall.”
“Really, what is it?”
“Uh... Showboat.”
“Showboat?” Ian said, nodding as if it were a subject for deep consideration.
Mackenzie grinned and said, “You’ve never seen it.”
“I’ve never heard of it,” Ian confessed. “I’m a complete moron.”
Mackenzie shook his head, “I’ve never acted. It’s just... for a -- something new.”
“A lark.”
“Uh?”
“A lark. My mom says when you do something new, for kicks. It’s a lark.”
“Oh, well then.... Yeah. a lark.” Mackenzie didn’t know what else to say, so he said, “You should come.”
Ian looked a little surprised, which made Mackenzie want to suck the words back into his mouth, and then the spiky haired boy said, “Maybe I will.”


That afternoon Cedric was playing piano and Vaughan was singing along when suddenly the boy stopped and Cedric looked up.
“Look!” Vaughan hissed, and Cedric joined him at the large window over the porch. The father pushed back the lace curtain and the two of them pressed their faces to the glass.
Rodder Gonzales’s red Probe was sitting before the house on Michael Street, and Rodder had climbed out and opened the passenger seat for Madeleine. He was talking to her. He kissed her hand.
The tall girl walked up the steps to the porch. Rodder was waiting for her to go inside.
As she opened the door, father and son rushed back to their former seats, but when Madeleiene came in they were both looking up at her.
“What?” Madeleine said.
Cedric began playing piano and Vaughan started singing:

Strangers in the night!
doobie doobie do!


That night Tina said, “Will everyone be out of the kitchen by about seven-thirty?”
“Why?” asked her mother, passing the breadsticks to Lindsay.
“Because I’m cooking.”
“What for?” Ross demanded.
“Because,” Tina stared down her younger brother who thought he was so much the shit since he’d started playing football, “I love to cook.”
“Since when?” Kevin said, and then his daughter turned such a look on him that he shut up.
“Yes, Tina,” Aileen said, “We can be out of the kitchen by seven-thirty, but I need you to help clear the table and load the washer.”
Tina shrugged. “I do that every night, you must have me confused with the fat sow over there.”
Ashley, looking bored and munching on a drumstick, suddenly sent her twin a nasty look.
“You’re a bit--”
“None of that, Ash!” Kevin said.
“She started it.”
“Apologize to your sister,” Kevin said bored.
“I’m sorry,” Tina said,
“That’s better--”
“-- that you’re such a fat cow,” her twin finished.
Lindsay, who was not wild about Tina, but absolutely hated Ashley, threw back her head and laughed while Ryan, looking more and more like Kevin, sat back in his chair and smiled secretively. Mackenzie said nothing and Ross took the remote control and turned the television up.
“Mother!” Ashley cried.
“Both of you!” Aileen said. “And Tina’s right. You don’t help out around her.”
“At least I don’t wear the Virgin Mary around my neck and smoke myself out of existence,” Ashley muttered.
Tina only smirked, and kicked her twin under the table.
“You bitch!” Ashley cried.
“Ash!” Kevin shouted.
Tina rose up from the table with her plate and said, “I’m going out on the front porch to have a puff.”



SHE CUT CLASS THE NEXT day. George Stearne was in the middle of teaching calculus--a subject he hated--when he looked out of the window of his classroom and saw Tina Foster walking across the parking lot toward her old red LTD.
Tina climbed in and drove to the house on Logan Street. Mother had gone to work awhile ago. Tina figured that if she was going to do anything good for Luke Madeary she’d better drop by while he wasn’t... she mused over the word as she drove back to the train tracks... home.
It only took her a second to screw up the nerve to go inside of the buildings. It was daylight now, and she told herself that there really hadn’t been any ghost. It had been Luke -- who was at school. Besides, if she stood out here and smoked a cigarette not only were the police bound to show up and demand what the hell she was doing, but she would lose her nerve. So she screwed up her nerve and picked up the heavy picnic basket and headed inside.
By daylight it was easier to see the empty warehouse space, the rungs where once upon a time supervisors must have come out from their offices to make sure they saw what was going on. She saw a freight elevator but did not trust it, so found a long stair that led to the second and then the third floor. The steps were metal grating, and they rang as she went up them. Her feet hurt and her arms were tired with the weight of the basket after the second story. Still she took another story before she arrived in a large, concrete floored place that overlooked the town. Out of the dirty window she could look east and see Michael Street shooting all the way until the Fitzgerald’s large white Victorian, and Jamnia High School were little miniatures.
Which reminded her to drop off the food and get back to school. She wasn’t trying to be a truant. She turned, and ahead of her was the ramp that led to the bridge over Michael Street where Luke must live. She crossed feeling the whole thing shake under her as she walked, picturing herself for a brief second -- falling through the floor and crashing to her death on Michael Street below. From below she heard the low approaching roar of a train. It was the same train noise she had fallen asleep to her whole life.
Near the end of the ramp-bridge there was a burlap curtain and, for a moment, Tina hesitated to push it back, knowing this must be Luke’s domain.
“If I leave it right here...” Even though she was whispering, her voice seemed loud. “He’ll get it.”
So she left it.
Heading back the way she’d came Tina suddenly shouted as the sandy colored dog, raced at her, barking.
“Roof! Roof Roof!” it kept parking.
“Chill out!” she shouted at a loss.
The dog cocked it’s head in amazement, stopped in midbark, and hung it’s head. Then it walked past her, and sniffed at the basket.
“And leave it alone. It’s not yours,” Tina told it.
The dog regarded Tina in disbelief. This human was crazy.
“At least it’s not yours yet.”
The dog made to sniff at it again.
“What did I say?” Tina demanded.
Raising an eyebrow, and moaning a little, the dog turned its head from the basket, and pushed past the curtain.
“That’s what I thought,” Tina muttered. That cigarette sounded right just about now. Tina took one out as she walked the way she’d come, backwards as much as possible thinking, “With my luck, the damn dog would rush me from behind and tear my throat out.”

The Jamnia Panthers had won their fourth consecutive game to the amazement of all, and Kevin Foster had even gone down to Our Lady of Jamnia to light candles in thanksgiving. Mick Rafferty measured out that it had been a month since he’d checked on Luke Madeary. He only sniffed into the boy’s business once a month because more would drive Luke crazy. In fact, Luke didn’t appreciate this interruption now. It had been a complete accident that Mick had learned where Luke lived. Two years ago, when Rafferty’d had Luke for home room, Luke had forged his mother’s signature on his grade card, and Rafferty was sure of this. He’d asked for Luke’s phone number to call home. It had turned out to be a sex phone line. Finally, Mick had gotten up, driven to the address Luke had penned as his house number, and after passing the factory many times realized that it was the address.
Mick had visited the factory in daylight hours, and in determination. So he had found Luke, not behind the burlap, but sitting on the balcony overlooking the old loading dock, smoking a cigarette.
So now he knew Luke’s business.
“Luke,” he called after Western Civ. Tina had looked up for a second as she was slipping her bag over her shoulder, but only a second, and then she’d walked off, heading for play practice.
“Yes, Mr. Rafferty,” Luke pushed back his hair and came forward.
“I wanted to say that.... If you would like to come over for dinner tonight ...”
“Mr. Rafferty, I’m fine.”
“Am I a bad cook?”
Luke cracked a grin and took a hand through his hair.
“No, sir, you’re a chef magnifique!”
“Hardly that.,”
“But, I’m fine, really.” Luke was about to turn around when he said, “In fact, if you must know, I’ve been eating really well for about a month now.”
Mr. Rafferty raised an eyebrow.
“A Good Samaritan’s been taking care of me,” Luke said.

“WELL, MISS FOSTER, SO NICE of you to turn up!” Tina heard Stearne calling across the auditorium as she entered. He had made a megaphone of his hands. George Stearne was such a short, mean little so and so that Tina admitted being razzed by him turned her on a little.
She smiled, and bowed with a flip of the hand, answering insolence for insolence.
“And a great actress too,” Stearne told the other members of the casts.
“I had to talk to another teacher,” Tina said, letting her bag fall in the middle of the center aisle, and then coming up the steps onto the stage. Madeleine turned around and looked at her questioningly.
“Your buddy, Mr. Rafferty.”
“Well, that’s almost a good excuse, Foster,” Stearne said, stroking his goatee. He turned around and told everyone else, “Now that she’s here, I can make my announcement.”
Tina looked at Madeleine.
“Hopefully Miss Foster can handle being on time from now on because Jaqueline Finney will not be playing Magnolia Hawkes, and we sincerely hope that her understudy can carry it off.” Stearne turned to her and smiled, self satisfied.
Tina could not move. Madeleine ribbed her in the shoulder.
“Understudy,” she said. “Tina, that’s you!”


Tina, Mackenzie, and Madeleine were walking down the empty hall, and out of the school singing, badly, “Old Man River” when she heard someone call out “Foster” and turned around to see Luke Madeary smoking a cigarette in his usual corner.
“No, not you!” he dismissed Mackenzie.
Tina went up, and when Madeleine was about to follow, she waved her to stay at the bottom of the steps.
“Yeah,” Tina said, summoning up all her cool.
Luke did not look at her yet, he blew a gush of smoke out of his nostrils and the wind carried it away.
“I wanted to say thanks,” he said.
“Um?”
“For all the meals.”
Tina found herself lying.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
` “Well,” Luke said indifferently, suddenly thrusting into her with his eyes while he gave a crooked grin, “Whoever is sending all the food my way... Thank you.”
Disconcerted, Tina smirked and nodded. Later that night she would play the scene of her smirking like a jack o’ lantern and nodding like a dufus over and over again in while she sat in her attic room, and she would say, “I’m such a dumbass... I’m such a dumbass....”

v i i i


The lights went out in the theatre and Cedric whispered to Ida, “Who is Tina playing?”
“Wynona.”
“What play is this anyway?”
“Madeleine’s one of the stars, Ced!”
“I know but...” he shrugged. “Most of the time I’m attentive, but sometimesI just nod my head and say, ‘Yes, baby’ when she gets to chattering. ”
“It’s Showboat,” Ida said.
“I thought it was Macbeth,” Cedric said. “Her getting the lead and all.”
“It’s not type cast,” Ida said.
Rodder Gonzales plopped down in the seat beside them.
“Hey, Mr. Fitzgerald.”
“Rodder.”
“This is gonna be a blast,” Rodder said. “Maddy’s great. I hear her at practice everyday.”
“I hear her practice every night,” Cedric said. “If I hear her going up and down the scale one more time -- after tonight - -I’ll scream.”
“Wanna do shots later on?” Ida leaned over Cedric to Rodder.
Rodder and Cedric looked at her incredulously.
The older woman winked at him. “Com’on, whadda y’say?”
Cedric looked at Rodder. Dumbly, he nodded his head.

The music was beginning. Mr. Stearne said, “You alright, Foster?”
“If I don’t trip over this dress or get sucked under by one of these hoops I’ll be fine.”
The curtain lifted, and as Tina prepared to step out she couldn’t see anything but darkness ahead and the lights above. She drifted into performance mode and then she heard,
“Give ’em hell!, Teanie!”
Tina turned around and looked at Mr. Stearne.
He raised an eyebrow.
“My aunts,” she explained. “Are you sure I can’t smoke out on stage.
Stearne just shook his head sadly and said, “Give ‘em hell, Teanie.”

Kevin Foster had been caressing his wife’s neck for some time, and for some time she had been swatting his hand away.
“It’s not high school,” she said.
“Yes it is,” he corrected her.
“Not for us. Stop.”
“What’s wrong with you.”
“I have a headache.”
“Do you always have a headache?”
Aileen removed her husband’s hand.
“Only when you touch me,” she hissed.
Beside her sat Ryan. He stared up at her.
“What?” she said.

WHEN MACKENZIE HAD LEFT THE stage, and Tina came back, leaning over the prow as she looked into the river and sang “Can’t Help Loving That Man of Mine”, Ashley muttered, “I don’t know what’s so special about her,” and Kevin murmured, “Shut up, Ash.”
Suddenly Ryan screamed, “Shit goddamn!”
Lindsay, beside Ashley said, “Well, everyone knows the Fosters are in the house.”


Mackenzie could not believe all the people clapping him and the other casts members on the back as they came off stage and headed out of the auditorium.
“You were great.”
“Fantastic!”
“Didn’t know you had it in you!”
Ahead of him, Mackenzie heard Madeleine scream as Rodder lifted her up, twirled her around and kissed her.
Vaughan suddenly stood before him, smiled brightly before he hugged his friend.
“Was I good?” Mackenzie said.
“You know you were a great, Ravenal. Everyone’s saying so.”
“Yeah, but I expect you to tell the truth.”
“Truthfully: you were great a Gaylord -- no pun intended. Where’s your sister?”
Suddenly Mackenzie’s mouth opened, he looked around and said, “I don’t know.”
“Well, sit tight. Or stand tight,” Vaughan said. “I’m gonna go get her. Some guy’s looking for her.”
“A guy,” said Mackenzie, “is looking for my sister?”
“I’ll be right back,” Vaughan said, and was gone.
Mackenzie tried to stand still in the midst of the noise, the roaring crowd, the people up in his face suddenly shaking his hand hard, saying, “You were great.” “You’ve got a real talent, young man.” He felt a jab on his back, turned around, and suddenly Ian Cane was smiling in his face.
“You said I should come,” Ian said to the surprised Mackenzie. “So I did. You were really good. You’re good,” Ian told him.
“You’re really good too,” Mackenzie blurted out.
“What?” Ian cocked his head. Mackenzie wanted to laugh. He wanted to say something clever. He wanted to watch Ian’s face, which had been almost hostile for over a year, smile, and contort into grins.
Instead he said: “I dunno,” and shook his head.
“Look,” Ian said. “This is my cousin, Roy.”
“Hey,” Mackenzie felt an uprush that Ian wanted him to meet his cousin.
“This is my friend, Mackenzie,” Ian said and the words my friend hung around in Mackenzie’s ears. He told himself, “Don’t make too much of it,” and shook Roy’s hand.
“I see you a lot at school,” Mackenzie said.
“Yeah,” was all Roy could think to say.
“Look, we gotta go,” said Ian. “It’s past this kid’s bed time.” He jabbed Roy in the side. “You need a ride or something, Kenzie?”
“No,” Mackenzie said before he could think.
“I’ll see in school then,” replied Ian, then he and Roy were swallowed up in the crowd.
Mackenzie stood out of time for a moment. He wanted to bite back his words: “Sure, a ride would be great. Let’s go!
When Vaughan came back he said, “Your sister’s hiding. She insists on waiting until everyone’s gone. And everyone is shouting about her. They all want to see Magnolia Hawkes.”
Vaughan stopped and, wrinkling his forehead, looked a his friend.
“What’s up?”
“I fucked up!” Mackenzie moaned.

MARTINA FOSTER THOUGHT SHE HAD been backstage for about a half hour. Once Vaughan came back, and then later Madeleine with Rodder.
“You really were good,” Rodder told her, and offered a rare smile before turning around and leaving.
When the crowd had finally died, and Tina heard the boom of the lights being shut off, she stood up and began stuffing her day clothes into a gym bag. Then made for the back of the auditorium, her ball gown swishing about her.
As soon as she opened the door to the parking lot she screamed when a voice said, “I was wondering if you’d ever come out.”
“Oh, my God...” Tina murmured, turning around.
“Catch a breath and chill out,” Luke Madeary told her.
“What are you...?”
“I was just waiting so say you were good.”
“You came to the play?”
He nodded. He was in an old bomber jacket and a cigarette glowed from his right hand. He ashed on the ground.
“Well...” she said. “Thanks.”
The moon was round and the sky was very black tonight. It was warm, and past the parking lot was a field, and then Davidson Street with its split levels half buried behind a knoll.
Tina was getting ready to go toward her car when she said, “Do you... Would you like to take a walk?”
Luke cocked his head, and Tina wanted to laugh, because for once she’d caught him off guard.
“Yeah,” he said. “Yeah... let’s go.”

THE WHOLE RIDE HOME AILEEN AND Kevin bitched at each other and Ryan looked moodily out of the window while Ross just stared ahead. Lindsay had given a perfunctory congratulations, and Ashley was not with them, having split the moment the play ended.
So Mackenzie tried to tell himself that really nothing special would have happened if he’d gone home with Ian. Ian would have driven. They would have talked a little and that was about that. But Mackenzie wanted to spend time with Ian Cane. Get to know him. He pictured Ian sitting around the house with him and Vaughan, laughing and smiling, giving them that smile. Would Vaughan be jealous? Now, why should he be? Mackenzie did not even think of Vaughan in the same way he thought of Ian.
Aileen stopped fighting long enough to turn the full force of motherly affection on her oldest son and say, “You were wonderful out there, tonight, Kenzie.”
Kevin added as an after thought, “Yeah, buddy,” and reached back to play slug his son in the shoulder.
For some reason Mackenzie suddenly felt sorry for his father, though he couldn’t explain to himself why and didn’t really want to.
Upstairs in his room he told himself as he opened the window and stripped to his briefs that he was too tired to go out. He had thought about running over to Vaughan’s, maybe making his way to his grandmother’s. He wondered what had happened to Tina.
Mackenzie lay in the bed, under the sheet running his hands over his chest and stomach. He brought his fingers back up to his chest and ran one over his right nipple over and over again, thrilling at how hard it grew. He began to pinch and caress his nipples, to lay in the dark, running his hands over his body. A thin line of hair went out like silk from his navel and spread into his briefs. He reached into the end table and without looking pushed his hand down on the pump and squeezed lotion into his palms. Vaughan had teased him for this, discovering exactly what it was for.
“You even masturbate neatly.”
With one hand Mackenzie pulled down his briefs, letting the hand move over the soft skin of the side of his ass, the dimple of the left cheek, letting it move to stroke the soft hair and to cup the ass. He stuck his finger between the tight cleft and then lifted his hand to his face. It smelled like the earth. He put his hand back there and he slipped it into the moist-hairy place between his legs, he cupped his balls. He felt himself growing larger. He began to stroke.
Ashley was probably with Bone right now. They were probably in a shower. Her legs were wrapped around his massive waist. Her hands were raking his hairy ass. It was firm to her. It felt good. She was watching his face set in a rictus of concentration. He was turning red and pumping into her quicker and quicker. She had to bite her lip. He had to bite his lip as he moved faster and faster. But then He was Bone and he could feel his bone getting harder and harder. The bed was creaking more and more urgently. The shower disappeared until there was no palce and there was certainly no Ashley. Ian Cane was clinging to him.
“No,” Mackenzie muttered and tried to change the image to Bone or Rodder Gonzales. He tried to imagine he was Rodder, doing it to himself. He formed the image as he pumped quicker and quicker, but the image wouldn’t maintain. It was Ian, and sometimes he was Ian doing it to himself, and sometimes Ian was doing it to him and Ian was brutal. Ian was sweating in the bed with him, going to town. He looked holy like the statues of saints in church. Eyes closed in deep concentration, hips lifting, lifting, thrusting, thrusting.
And then the picture faded and Mackenzie shouted and was afraid someone would come into the room as he flooded his hands.


“SO THIS IS WHAT’S BEHIND THE Curtain,” Tina said.
“I can’t believe you’ve never been behind the curtain,” Luke said, coming in after her while the burlap fell behind him.
“It isn’t my house,” Tina said. “I was just here to make the food drop offs.”
“Well, welcome to the house,” said Luke.
Tina heard, ahead of them, a rapid tapping and soon, through another curtain across from the them burst the mutt.
“You again,” she said.
The dog yelped.
“Shush, Old Coconut,” Luke said, and the dog came to him, wagging her tail, and panting while he stroked her head.
“Old Coconut?”
“It’s better than Old Yeller,” Luke shrugged.
“Who am I to refute your wisdom?” Tina sat down on a crate.
“That’s right,” Luke said. “Have a seat. I’m so rude. Do you want something to drink?”
Tina looked at him in amazement.
“Coca-Cola, apple juice. Milk. Water’s my personal favorite. I got a little....” his eyes changed. A half wicked, half goofy smile crossed his lips. “I got a better idea. You hold on right there, girlie.”
Luke slid his jacket off. The tee shirt he wore under it was snug and as he walked back behind the next curtain, she saw that his walk was rangy, his arms long. His jeans fit and were tucked in work boots.
I’m falling for a sexy bum,” she thought, and thanked God that she had changed out of the ball gown and stuffed it in her car before they’d started their long walk. I’m so stupid,” Tina said to herself the whole time hoping she looked good, wondering if she should go blond again.
Tina looked around. The curtain before and behind her made this one room. The high window to her right must look over Michael street, and up it for some distance, past the high school. This might be like high rise living. There were crates covered in old blankets, even a few expensive damask curtains. The place was made for company. And there was a faded old imitation Persian rug on the floor. In the center was a rusty trunk with candles and school books on it, and there were other crates with candles, some tall, some short and fat, some with scents, some without. White, yellow, red, some in brassy holders. There were photographs, but Tina didn’t look at them closely. She thought this would be nosey and -- at the same time -- had the sense that Luke would appreciate that about her.
Luke reappeared holding a small glass out toward her, one for him self.
“My apologies for not taking you back to show off the rest of the house,” he said. “And to Old Coconut, for not letting you partake in the festivities,” he gestured to the glass.
Tina took the proffered glass, and sniffed.
“Goddamn.”
“Too much for you?” Luke raised an eyebrow.
She met him stare for stare.
“No, I was just thinking I didn’t know anyone but my grandma drank this shit!”

SLAM IT! SLAM IT! SLAM IT!” Cedric cried, and while Rodder chugged the last of the whiskey, the priest, the grandmother and the middle-aged father roared, “Drink! Drink! Drink!”
“Ahhh shit!” Rodder cried. He had broken out into a sweat after the last shot.
“Can’t go on.” he rasped.
“It doesn’t matter,” Cedric said, taking out a cigarette. “You’re staying here tonight. You can’t drive and it’s no way any of us is driving you.”
Madeleine was coming down the back stairs. “You alright, Rod?”
Cedric pushed a beer his daughter’s way.
“This is one hell of a celebration, Daddy.”
Cedric winked at Madeleine. “I aim to please.”
“Can I have a beer?” Vaughan said.
“Yeah,” Cedric told him. “But don’t let your dad find out.”
All of a sudden Rodder burst out laughing and clapping his hands.
“Oh, my God!” he cried. “I’m such a dork.”
“That’s it, baby,” Madeleine pulled the shot glass away from him. “You’ve had enough.”


“THIS IS MY GRANDMOTHER’S WHISKEY?”
“Only sort of,” Luke sat back, rolling a joint. He lit it, inhaled until the tip glowed red, passed it to Tina, but she shook her head.
“Very admirable,” Luke said through clenched jaws, holding the smoke in, letting it leak out of his nose.
“And I guess you got that from my aunt.”
“Again -- Kinda sorta,” he nodded, and inhaled again.
Tina watched the candlelight flow on the plains of his face, make shadows under his eyes, make Luke’s eyes glow like coals. She was haunted by the way the smoke tendriled out of his nose, and how the light turned his eyes golden.
“They said they knew you,” Tina said.
“They knew my mom,” Luke said. He shrugged. “And me. I don’t pay for this,” he lifted up the smoldering joint. “It’s a gift. My mom was friends with Meghan Berghen--your aunt. I was friends with Kirk.”
“My cousin.”
“We were junior burnouts together,” Luke chuckled dumbly. He offered the joint again. She had the strongest feeling she should say no, and so she did. But if he offered again, she’d have to say yes. She was attracted to the heavy burning smell people said was nasty. She was attracted to how the smoke rolled heavily out of Luke’s mouth and nose, by his voice and the candlelight.
“But my mom and Meg were grown-up burnouts almost. When Mom died there was no money, no way to take care of me. The state wanted to come after me. They had me for awhile. Would have put me in foster homes. And I guess...” he inhaled again. His eyes took in a far off look. Luke sat against the crates with his legs wide apart, “I guess I could have lived with other people. But I wanted to be on my own. And so...” he spread his hands out.
“Does it ever get lonely?” Tina said.
Luke nodded. “Yeah. Yeah. But everybody’s lonely... Right?”
Tina could not refute this wisdom.
Suddenly Luke turned to her and smiled.
“And see, I’m drinking your grandma’s liquor. I’m smoking your aunt Ally’s weed. I used to know your Aunt Meg. Here I am with you, wanting to kiss you real bad,” the shock must have shown on Tina’s face. “The way I think you wanna kiss me. You must be part of my jati. I bet you are.”
“Yeah,” Tina said ignoring the basic fact that she didn’t know what the hell a jati was. Suddenly, Luke took one fierce drag until the roach burnt bright red. And then Luke came toward Tina, placing his mouth over hers, suddenly filling her mouth with his tongue and the marijuana smoke. She almost coughed, but she never did. She was filled. Luke Madeary’s tongue in her mouth, Ally’s pungent smoke in her nose, the darkness, the candlelight, the rush, the flood in her groin, the feel of that soft copper hair, softer than hers, the strength of his neck.
They parted. She wasn’t sure who pulled away first. Tina was sure it was about time to go home -- though that was the last thing she wanted to do. Smoke was still in her nostrils.
“Yeah,” Luke said, sitting back. “You’re part of my...” he shook his head. He didn’t appear to be high. “We’re part of a jati.”


There were no two ways about, she’d have to go the Aunts and as soon as possible. In fact, after the Sunday matinee performance when Madeleine and Rodder asked Tina if she wanted to hang with them, she said she could only do so for about an hour.
In the house on Windham Street she told the ladies her problem. Meghan was doing her nails and a can of Pringles stood open before her. Alice was sketching in a notebook as Tina opened the refrigerator to pull out an old juice container filled with water, Alice said, “Shake it first.”
Tina raised an eyebrow.
“You know if you don’t shake liquids first they taste all watery.”
Tina couldn’t tell if her aunt was serious or not, but she shook the water anyway, and then drank straight from the container.
“So, hon,” Meghan said. “Basically you’re problem is that you still want to look like the bride of Satan... only now Satan’s wife has to have sex appeal.”
“Yes,” Tina smiled. “That’s exactly how I’d put it.”
“Meghan smiled and kept buffing. “That’s why I’m your aunt. Hold on, hon. I think I got just the right idea. Ally, I’ll need your help.”
“Sure thing. ‘
“And we’ll need to see what Ida thinks of it when she gets in.”
“Definitely,” Alice said, doodling on. “Definitely.”

“VAUGHAN, WE’RE GONNA BE LATE for class,” Mackenzie said.
Vaughan, finishing up his cigarette smiled up at Mackenzie. The high sun reflected back on the other boy’s shades.
“I’m not going,” he said. “And neither should you.”
“Vaughan, you can’t skip school.”
“But I can,” he disagreed. “And I will.”
“Why would we skip. Where else would we go in Jamnia?”
“To the library, to your grandma’s . To my dad’s, to your cousins’...” Vaughan shook his head and slapped his knee. He was wearing the shiny black polyester pants, and black work shoes. “But we’re not. I’m not.”
“Vaughan quit fucking around.”
Vaughan took off his glasses and looked at his friend.
“I don’t think I’ve ever heard you talk like that.”
Mackenzie blushed.
“I mean, we gotta get to class.”
“I told you: I’m not going.”
“Fine.”
Vaughan said: “What’s wrong with you? One play under your belt and you think you’re president or something.”
“I don’t have time for this,” Mackenzie said. “I’m tired of saving you.”
Vaughan waited until Mackenzie had gone back into the school, and then he muttered, “Bitch,” and got up. He crossed the parking lot and looked for Bone Mc.Arthur’s red Mustang. There were new whitewalls. Vaughan looked behind him, but there were no windows on this side of the school. It just looked like two large department store boxes lain over each other and covered in brick. He took the key out of his pocket.
The moment the devil had entered his head with the whole scheme was two weeks ago. He was sure he could pull it off somehow. Between hanging around for play practice and living across the field from the school, Vaughan had easily been able to get into the locker room during football practice, find Bone’s jeans, take out his car keys, and make a wax model. Living in a town one’s whole life with as many crooked connections at the Fitzgeralds had, it was no problem at all to have a key made. This necessitated hanging out with the cousins on Crawford Street, something of which neither his father nor any of the immediate family approved. But Vaughan approved of it. They were all right with him.
So he was in the car quickly and remembered that if he obeyed the laws there was no reason he should be stopped and no reason at all that a cop should find out that he was either driving a stolen vehicle or unlicensed to drive any vehicle at all.
The car, unfortunately, smelled too much like Bone and, Vaughan guessed, probably Ashley. He was startled by the power of it when he turned the key in the ignition. It was so trashy, though. If he owned a Mustang convertible, he would have kept clean.
Vaughan did not dare to drive down Michael Street, though there was no way his father would have guessed he was in the car. This thing was so much bigger than him. It unnerved him. He would have to be very careful. He couldn’t drive past the school either, or Bone might see his car disappearing. Instead he turned south out of the parking lot into the little block of split levels. If he continued a block or so down Lakeview he could turn southwest. He would be on Carmel Road for a few blocks. He paid very close attention to how he was driving, what direction he was moving in. Then he shot north, north until he hit Michael. Vaughan made a liberating turn west and drove at fifty-five across the train tracks, under the factory. Then he kept driving, wanting to accelerate, not daring. Never missing a green light, watching the small shops of Michael Street and the reoccurring little post WWII houses go past, the car jumping over the cracked and faded macadam. Block after block, he passed Logan. If you shot down there you’d find the Foster’s house all plum colored and peaceful looking set back in trees. He passed Fourth and Thrity=Sixth Street and then he crossed the country road, and finally the road rose up and he crossed the Lion River, leaving the state of Ohio altogether, landing on the other side in Canaan, Indiana.


WHEN TINA AND MADELEINE GREETED Mackenzie in the hallway before the cafeteria, the first thing they asked him was, “Where’s Vaughan?”
“He decided to ditch school,” Mackenzie said, trying to force all the disapproval he could into the statement.
“Good for him!” Tina said, looking prettier than ever. For a brief second, Mackenzie hated the only sibling he liked.
All during lunch, Mackenzie scanned the cafeteria for Ian, and when Tina asked what was up he said, “Nothing.”
“Is that why you’re red?” she teased. “Some girl? I know why I’m scanning? Where the hell is Luke Madeary. I need him to know how sexy I am.”
“Sounds like he already knows,” Madeleine murmured.
The conversation of his sister and Vaughan’s sister faded as Mackenzie realized he hadn’t told Tina. He wasn’t trying to keep anything from her. It just hadn’t seemed vital. He needed to tell her sooner or later.
But how many people do I tell? And who will care? What does it really mean? Maybe I should have sex first.
And having sex made him think of Ian, and this immediately made him ashamed.

On the way to geology, Mackenzie almost passed Ian by, afraid the other boy might see something in his eyes. But after Saturday he couldn’t stand sabotaging another chance with Ian so he came up to the spiky haired boy who was pulling books out of his locker.
“I didnt’ see you at lunch,” Mackenzie said, adding a smile and bouncing on his toes to take away whatever obsession might linger in the phrase.
“I couldn’t. I was trying to do French. I transferred this year. I don’t get it.”
“You have Decker for that class?”
Ian nodded. “How are you doing?”
Mackenzie was a little embarrassed to say he had an A. He tacked on, “Vaughan has an A in everything,” wondering where his friend was.
“Could you please help me?” Ian said, closing the locker. “I mean, like as soon as possible?”
“Sure,” Mackenzie found himself saying. “You wanna.... come to my house?“ Casual, sound casual ! ”This afternoon, after school or something.”
“Yeah,” Ian nodded. “That’d be great.”
Mackenzie turned on his heel and headed for class, trying not to run, Yes. It would be great.




Tina came to take the last of her things from the auditorium after school. It was really too bad she thought. She’d grown to really enjoy being here over the last month and a half. She was nosing around behind stage when Mr. Stearne showed up and said, “Oh, my God, who died and made you presentable?”
Tina smiled, making sure not to look too pleased to see Mr. Stearne. It was their game.
“You’re in love, I suppose,” he told her.
She reddened.
“I hope it’s love for the theatre,” he said. “We ah... do the next play in less than a month. I really hope you come to tryouts. You’ve got a special talent. Even if I razz you.”
This was high praise from Mr. Stearne who seemed to live for nothing but razzing everyone.
“Thank you, sir,” she said.
“Only I was thinking of doing Frankenstein, and you don’t look like his bride anymore.”
Tina was in her grandmother’s black slacks from the sixties, and old green turtleneck. Three necklaces still hung from around her neck, but the rosary was in her pocket. Turquoise and hemp bracelets Alice had brought back from New Mexico hung on her wrists and her skin had a touch of blush, just lipstick rubbed into her cheeks. Tina’s hair was the color of tea. She looked nothing like a bitter hag, and nothing like Ashley.
“I mean that,” Stearne found himself taking a chance. “You’re a very special girl...Woman, Martina.”
“Sir, please stop or you’ll say something so nice neither one of us will believe it’s you.”
Suddenly George Sterane laughed, and Tina realized he was only about twenty-four years old. That seemed so old.. He could be Cedric Fitzgerald’s child. He wasn’t old at all.
“Mr. Stearne?” Tina said, scooping the last of her things into her handbag. “A friend of mine... he said this word.”
“Alright?”
“Jati,” she said. “What in the world is a jati?”
At first George Stearne looked confused, then he gave one of his laughs again and said, “Hold on. I do know this. It’s Hindu. The Hindus believed... Still do I guess -- in reincarnation. Now you know how you meet certain people and you just seem to click with them? Or there are certain groups of folks you just always seem tied to?”
Tina nodded.
“Well the Hindus believe that when you’re reincarnated you get reincarnated with the same group. They’re like you’re spiritual family slash friend group. That’s why it seems like you’ve know some people forever... Because you have. You’re connected to them and you grow with them and you cannot progress without them. And that’s your jati.”
Tina nodded her head, and then said, “Thanks sir.”
She had turned to leave and was going past the curtain, back to the stage when she turned around.
“Sir?”
“Yes, Martina?”
“Do you believe in that? You know, jatis?”
Stearne smiled and took off his glasses to play with them. Then he slipped them back on.
“It sure would be nice,” he said. “Wouldn’t it?”

“IT’S LATE,” IAN SAID, ROLLING off of Mackenzie’s bed. The other boy was in an easy chair that had come from the Colonel’s house, his knees pulled to his chest.
“I don’t think we even really got any studying done,” Mackenzie said, looking dismally at the French book. “All we did was talk.”
“That’s alright,” Ian said, rising from the bed. “Can I admit something, Mackenzie?”
Mackenzie nodded.
“I’ve kinda been wanting to hang out with you.”
“What?”
“Just see what it would be like. I thought you’d be cool. I don’t have a lot of friends and all and... I mean... I really did need help with French,. I mean, I still really need help in French, but I’m just saying it’s cool... hanging out and all.”
“Yeah,” Mackenzie said. Then: “You can come back!”
“I will,” Ian promised with a grin, and then the phone rang. When no one else in the house answered after four rings, Mackenzie rolled his eyes and picked up the phone.
“Hello?”
“Kenzie.” A very soothing voice was on the other end of the phone.
“Vaughan?”
“Yeah.”
“Are you home?”
“No... Not exactly. I know you said you were tired of saving me and everything, but--”
Vaughan, I’m sorry about this morning. I’m full of shit. Now tell me where you are.”


The steel cord of the pay phone was wrapped around Vaughan’s wrist as he sat on the passenger door of the convertible with its dead engine. He threw back his head, and laughed, “You’ll never believe this shit.”
Above him a green sign read in white letters, FORT WAYNE, INDIANA WELCOMES YOU.

The boys raced down the stairs. Mackenzie passed his mother, shouting, “We’ll be back in about three hours!”
“Wha?’ Aileen started.
“Goo’bye, Mrs. Foster!” Ian shouted hurtling after Mackenzie.
“What was that?” he said to Mackenzie as he opened the door for the other boy and then hopped into the driver’s seat of his car, plugging the key into the ignition.
Breathing heavily, Mackenzie answered, “With my mom... the key is... run out the door as soon as possible... while shout out something... vague... that way --”
“There’s no time for her to ask questions,” Ian finished with a grin. He pulled out of the driveway onto Logan Street. The setting sun was falling golden through the trees.
“Are you sure you wanna do this?” Mackenzie asked.
“Oh, were you gonna take your car?” Ian raised an eyebrow, and then tapped the other boy on the shoulder, and sped down the street.

That night when Vaughan came through the door of the house on Michael Street the only thing Cedric said was, “Fort Wayne?”
“I’d never been,” Vaughan answered.
“Yes you have,” Cedric told him as Ian and Mackenzie entered the house behind him. Tina and Madeleine were in the kitchen with Luke, and they all turned to look up at Vaughan, vaguely proud.
“And in Bone’s car?” Madeleine said.
“I removed all my fingerprints,” Vaughan told her. “You all are the only ones who’ll know how it got there.”
“My lips are sealed,” Luke said.
“This is--” Tina gestured.
“Luke Madeary,” Vaughan reached out a hand and shook Luke’s. In answer to the question on Luke’s face, Vaughan said, “I stay awake. And this is Ian Cane, our new compatriot.” Vaughan threw an arm over the other boy and Mackenzie marveled at how easy it was for Vaughan. Even when Vaughan had thought he was an outcast it was so easy for him to just walk up to other guys and befriend them.
“And when have I been to Fort Wayne?” he said to his father.
“Remember when you were five and you wanted to go to London cause you kept hearing about it and I told you I had a show to do in Chicago, but you insisted and finally I decided to do the play in London?”
“Yeah.”
“That was Fort Wayne.”
“Oh, my...” Vaughan stopped.
“Well for God’s sake Vaughan, you were five. I had a job to do. And see, you’ve managed to forget all the details like... we were only there for a day. Like -- I drove there. Things like that fade out with children. I was old enough when you came around to know that,” Cedric explained, handing Vaughan the ham sandwich he’d just made him.
Madeleine sat back and laughed her head off until Cedric said, “Remember our trip to Paris?”
Madeleine stopped laughing.
“Daddy?” she pleaded.
“Columbus,” he told her, grinning. “Well, congratulations, kid. Childhood is over.”